breaking up is hard to do

I tried to end things like mature adults once more and suggested the kid enjoy his freedom and the beauty of his youth by being single. Free to spread his wild oats in the typical Saudi Cultural Mission manner, by getting drunk and making poor judgement calls. He wouldn't accept my cryptic whatsapp messages and kept insisting on meeting me in person. That's my downfall goslings I awful at face to face serious talks. I beat around the bush, I banter, I pussy foot and I end up recanting everything. We meet up at Starbucks and I order a pumpkin spice latte while he takes a water. I note his adorable American flag sweater, which he excitedly explains how he found it at the outlets and its the same one Wiz Khalifa wore in a music video. I sigh as he sheepishly smiles and tries to load the video on his smart phone to show me. Such a baby, a cute baby. I choose a table by the window and try to explain how I need to end this before I am further ruined. He apologizes and asks for a second chance and I say no. "Oh fuck" and he whispers and buries his face in his hands. I fiddle with the lid of my latte because I can't stand to see him suffer. He raises his head and takes my hand as I drone on about the age difference between us and how he's too young for me. Fast forward 25 minutes later and we're in his car by the airport waiting for a movie to start. I watch his innocent face as he lights a joint.

I don't know what possessed me. Maybe it was the fact that I had not slept well in over three days, hell make that six months. I'm so tired all the damn time and neurotic over the dumbest things. I watched the slow exhale and the way he tilted his head back slightly, a plume of white smoke swirled around us. I told him I wanted to try it and he was surprised but held the joint to my lips. I inhaled and felt a heavy feeling in my lungs different from cigarettes. I took a couple more hits and the kid  said my lips made it taste sweeter. Cute and kharoof like (a kharoof is slang in the Arabian Gulf for a guy shows a sucker for girls). We exchanged smokey kisses and I hated the taste it left in my mouth. After generously spritzing both of us with with John Varvatos cologne, he took my hand and we walked giggling into the theater down the longest hallway I've ever seen. I sat down and looked for the seat belt before realizing where I was. The movie was boring and hard to follow, his kisses were more fun. So much for breaking up.