white heart

The other day I unwisely choose to have dinner with Abdul who desperately wanted to see me after the fight he thinks we had. I declined several times until he badgered me enough and I should have went with my better instinct. The dinner itself was okay he choose a new Arabic place that opened downtown. I ordered chicken tawook mmm one of my favorites and garlic potatoes. As I drank my tea which didn't have mint, I took note of the ambiance. I like dimly lit places and after ordering we exchanged pleasantry's. The who's who, the whats what. The girl he flew from Denver to take to a nearby Island which I told him about in the first place.

He showed me pictures of the girls he's talking to, I nod and murmur occasionally so he thinks I'm paying attention. He will graduate in May due to the amount of units he's taking outside of his school with online classes, he wanted me to do one for him of course. He tried kissing me and I shoved him off tiredly. I don't find him attractive at all but the experiences alone are noteworthy. I try not to laugh as he calls a girl and after a lengthy breathy conversation in Arabic he hangs up. I can't make this stuff up he than turns to me sadly and says he met this girl while she was on vacation here, but since he went back home he feels she is talking to other guys. Note what he himself is doing. And wait for the kicker, he states that "no girl deserves his white heart, because he is really clean in his intentions".

What is so wrong with being the bad guy? I'm not a good girl and I admit it openly. But this delusion is something else. Which I'm still in awe of white heart my ass. God help whatever poor girl gets stuck with him. This valentine's day I spent a quiet night in my new room arranging shelves and opening boxes. My mom got me cupcakes with hearts on them. I was invited to a few dinners which I declined. I made it very clear that I am done with all of this. Now the sulking and passage aggressive whatsapp messages will begin but so be it. I don't want any of you and I never will again. I told Abdul this as I tried to make my dramatic exit from his car but he grabbed my arm and cryptically told me " you gonna die with Arabs, its in your soul". Ya kalb.